分類: 6 LIFE STYLE

是的，我們有我們的小舞台。

而我在這小舞台上，要從容不迫、好整以暇、優雅慢活。

終有一天，注意點滴細節的小事業，也會得到大成功。

 

今天下班到醫院看了嬤，神采飛揚、笑容可掬，真好。

我們家阿嬤真的好棒！

 

和沅沅一起去吃了石二鍋。

終於吃到了！是劉小曦的初體驗！

 

我點了雪花牛，沅吃了上選豬。

感覺油花分布很均勻，肉質看來很不錯呢。

 

 

睡前要祈禱旦董的淋巴腫早日康復。

吃什麼都痛以至於什麼都不能吃，真的很痛苦啊！

 

 

 

 

（圖：今日傍晚統測班，埋頭專注寫作中～）

今天因為腦袋一時忙碌過熱所以發生的「筆電密碼反覆輸入錯誤事件」，簡直虛驚我一場啊！

好在直覺拯救了一切！

 

早在一週前就跟孩子們討論過碩士上榜與否的諸多計畫與準備，卻沒想到真的有許多孩子把我的放榜日期謹記在心，甚至還記得我說過「有可能提早」。

下午，一個從沒私下單獨找我說過話的高一同學，恰巧在我忙到翻的第七節下課時間跑來辦公室找我。從我背後用手指點點我的肩膀後，我轉頭看見的，是張有點害羞又有點緊張的臉。

「那個，老師……妳說妳那個碩士是什麼時候會知道啊？妳上了嗎？」

我眨了眨眼睛，有點驚訝，「欸，哈哈，提早放了啊，昨天就放了，而且我落榜了～」

帶著苦笑和自我揶揄的口氣，我笑著對他說道。

「喔喔，真的嗎？喔，那就好！」

聽他說完「那就好」的瞬間，我突然意會過來－－原來這孩子是專程跑來想要知道我是否還會留在學校繼續任教的！

「所以你是特地跑來確定我還會不會教你們班嗎？」我半開玩笑地說。

他臉紅了。

「欸，對啊！」

「哈哈，」頓時我也有點跟著害羞起來，「好啦放心，我會留下來繼續好好教大家～」坐在位置上說話的我作勢鞠了個躬，「請你們繼續多多指教！XD」

這件事是我今天的小確幸。

我會繼續努力的，請大家也和我一起加油喔！

 

馬克杯、杯蓋、攪拌棒！小七這回LINE character的集點有點誘人啊！>/////<

 

沒錯的話，也許下週一就是決定我未來一年的重要關鍵。

已經決定，無論如何，好好做，一定要讓自己的專業發揮到最大效益。

 

看著你的「嗯嗯嗯」如搗蒜，還有在我說明計畫之後的肯定「好」；我知道，自己的決心已然不會再有絲毫動搖了。

真心想做一件事的時候，全世界都會聯合起來幫助自己。

I DO BELIEVE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Refuting previous research that claims couples who shack up together before getting married are more likely to get divorced later in life, a new study finds instead that divorce rates are tied closer to peoples’ ages when they started bunking up

Just as nobody buys a car without taking it for a test-drive, most people—about two thirds of couples—don’t get married any more until they’ve lived with their proposed lifetime partner. This has been true for a while, even though studies done right up until the 2000s showed that couples who lived together first actually got divorced more often than those who didn’t. But a spate of new studies looking at cohabitation, as it’s called, are starting to refine those results.

A paper in the April issue of the Journal of Marriage and Family,but presented early to the Council on Contemporary Families says that past studies have overstated the risk of divorce for cohabiting couples. Arielle Kuperberg, assistant professor of sociology at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro, says that the important characteristic is not whether people lived together first, but how old they were when they decided to share a front door.

“It turns out that cohabitation doesn’t cause divorce and probably never did,” says Kuperberg. “What leads to divorce is when people move in with someone – with or without a marriage license – before they have the maturity and experience to choose compatible partners and to conduct themselves in ways that can sustain a long-term relationship.”

So what’s the magic age? Kuperberg says it’s unwise to either move in or get married before the age of 23. But other family experts say that’s lowballing it. Economist Evelyn Lehrer (University of Illinois-Chicago) says the longer people wait past 23, the more likely a marriage is to stick. In fact, Lehrer’s analysis of longitudinal data shows that for every year a woman waits to get married, right up until her early 30s, she reduces her chances of divorce. It’s possible that woman may also be reducing her chances of marriage, but Lehrer’s research suggests later marriages, while less conventional, may be more robust.

Read: How an Insensitive Jerk Saved my Marriage

One of the reasons cohabitation was linked with divorce in prior years was that poorer people tended to move in together and then slide into marriage when they got pregnant. But their economic plight did not improve. So it might not have been the cohabitation, but the poverty that was causing the split. Wealthier people tended to wait.

The situation today has changed—70% of all women aged 30 to 34 have lived with a boyfriend, according to Kuperberg, and many of them are educated and wealthy. Sharon Sassler, a professor at Cornell who’s writing a book on cohabitation, says that the amount of time a couple dates before moving in together is important. College educated women date guys for an average of 14 months before they become roomies. For non-college educated women, the waiting time is more like six months, because the lure of a single rent check is just too irresistible. Obviously, that situation is more prone to problems.

The biggest predictor of splits in couples of all types, though, is whether they have a child without meaning to. Sociologist Kristi Williams of Ohio State University says that sometimes a unintended pregnancy is what pushes a couple to move in together or to marry. “Given that premarital sex has been nearly universal in the U.S. for more than 40 years,” she wrote in a response to Kuperberg’s study, “it is vital to provide teens and young adults with access to effective contraceptives and family planning services” to avert more divorces.

Read: How Being Good Parents Can Make You a Lousy Couple

What other factors predict a successful cohabitation-to-marriage journey? Coincidentally, in another paper released the same day, researchers at the University of Miami in Coral Gables found that there might be physical traits at work. Not surprisingly, more attractive people were more likely to get married than less attractive people, but not by much, and mostly that rule only applied to women. The paper also found, for what it’s worth, that cohabitation was likely to lead to marriage for women with “above average grooming” and men with “above average personalities.” Good looking men—those Lotharios— were more likely to cohabit without getting married. (Exhibit A: George Clooney.)

Why get married at all? Why not just live together as long as it suits both parties? Marriage has been shown to have a bunch of physical and health benefits that cohabitation has not yet been shown to have. Some experts believe that’s because more unmarried cohabiting couples used to be among the less well off. But in a recent study of married and just-living-together couples, a researcher at the University of Virginia found that the brains of spouses responded differently to stress than the brains of living-together couples.

Couples were hooked up to a fMRI and warned that they were about to be given a small electric shock. The brain scans of those who were holding their spouses’ hands were quite different from those who were holding a stranger’s hand or looking at a picture. There was less activity in the hypothalamus, which suggests they were better able to deal with the stress. Among couples who were just cohabiting, the brain scans didn’t show much difference. Even gay couples who were not legally married but were in the emotional equivalent— exclusive committed permanent relationships—handled the stressful incident better.

Read: Online Dating Doesn’t Just Save You Time, It Saves You at Least $6,400

All the couples in the study, both married and unmarried, were were about the same age, had been in the relationship for about same amount of time and had equally sunny things to say about their partners. “I think it has to do with the conceptualization of one’s relationship,” says the paper’s author Jim Koan, who presented his findings at the Society for Personality and Social Psychology (SPSP) annual conference in Austin in February. “Asserting cohabitation is basically asserting that one is not ‘locked in’ to a commitment,” he says, whereas marriage sends a signal of dependability and predictability. “The take-home implication is that our brains are sensitive to signs that the people we depend on in our lives are predictable and reliable. And our brains will depend upon — will, in effect, outsource to — those we feel are most predictable and reliable for our emotion-regulation needs.”

So far, cohabitation doesn’t seem to be able to produce that feeling of security. And so far, cohabitation hasn’t been shown to inoculatecouples from divorce. But it may not be the marriage slayer it was once thought to be.

 

http://time.com/20386/how-shacking-up-before-marriage-affects-a-relationships-success/

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今天開會時寫下的。

25歲的如今，我要好好朝這個方向努力。

 

 

然後是回家配著安室女神的演唱會DVD（是的沒錯藍光買了之後我禁不住中文字幕的誘惑也敗台壓DVD了）在我的MOLESKINE寫下的日記。

 

晚上幫餐二莊加菜－－噢不，是加課！

結束了一個單元之餘帶大家看了一下剪輯得令我五體投地的演唱會預告片。

結果在看完畫面跳得其實很快的預告片後，居然有學生注意到我近來的指彩跟安室在演唱會中的造型一樣！！！（笑）

上禮拜在旦董那看完藍光，我就已經把指彩搭配記下來了，左右手從大拇指到小指分別是～

右手：黑、黑、銀、銀、黑

左手：銀、黑、黑、紅（霓光）、黑

但因為我手邊沒有銀色指甲油（倒是有銀色爆裂XD），所以上禮拜做這個造型時把銀色部分改為裸色，效果也還不錯！

　

這會兒偶然被學生發現了真是又驚又喜！也太細心了吧！哈哈

 

 

真的很想有機會正式演唱＜我還是不懂＞。

也許減肥有成之後再來認真思考舞台機會！嘿

不過現階段還是認真祈禱碩班上榜吧！！！！！>___<

 

 

 

 

無助的心痛再度湧了上來，沒想到仍會為此心悸、鼻酸、眼淚盈眶，只剩並未潰堤。

心真的好痛。

 

本來就沒有想像中堅強。

本來就不可能做好心理準備。

我只是把自己的感覺說出來罷了。

卻總是要被理性分析。

最末只有「可以不要在我……嗎？」

對，我們都太習慣，總是以「我」做出發點。

那讓一句話聽來不是問句，是命令。

只能語塞。

 

如果有一天選擇什麼都不說了，大抵也就不再期望了。

 

對，I have my own, and you have yours。

But there are too many things just always about you.

You and yourself.

 

互換立場大概是永遠不可能的事吧。

 

你／妳珍惜一段感情的方式是什麼？ 

別讓我真的築起了防衛的心牆。

你不會知道，在這建立防禦的過程中，會有多無奈、多無助、多痛。

 

紛紛擾擾再也不想明白。

學著冷眼旁觀會比較快樂。

只要做好我自己的事，活得開心充實精彩。